JeremyBear.com

Monday, December 11, 2006

Hunted!

CAREY: Here's what I think. Don't judge it.

JER: Go ahead.

CAREY: You have these poachers killing off endangered elephants in Africa for their ivory. I say turn it around on them! Make them the hunted! Show 'em how it feels!

JER: Wow.

CAREY: It's... these poachers. We need to get them off the streets.

JER: Henh?

CAREY: Not the streets, but you know. The jungle. Get 'em out.

JER: So, what, you put a bounty on their heads? Let people hunt 'em down?

CAREY: Well, no. The government, see, this is how it works: You capture these hunters. You chase them around with guns, make them run for their lives. Finally, you get them in a net or a cell and you say, "oh, I'm sorry, do you feel scared? Well, we're gonna pull your teeth out and sell them!"

JER: Yikes!

CAREY: "And maybe your leg too. Or your arm." Then you knock 'em out. Give them an injection and they're out.

JER: Horrific.

CAREY: Here's the part where it comes together: they wake up and their arms are all bandaged up. But they're bandaged up in such a way that they think they have no arm. Well, it takes a few seconds, but then they realize that they do still have the arm there, but they've learned a lesson: this is how the animals feel.

JER: Mmm. So, you don't kill them or de-limb them.

CAREY: No, you show them mercy.

JER: Sounds humane.

CAREY: And that's it.

JER: And what's the desired outcome, then? They've seen the error of their ways and they turn their backs on poaching?

CAREY: Yep. They tell their poacher friends, too: "oh, man, you should've seen what they did to me. It showed me the light. I'm never doing that again, too risky."

JER: So, you've effectively produced evangelists for animal rights!

CAREY: Mm-hm. Get 'em on our side, that's how you win.

JER: Sounds pretty solid. Hey, did I tell you I've been having my own ideas about how to help the environment?

CAREY: Oh yeah? Like what?

JER: I think we should pass legislation: all cop cars are hybrids.

CAREY: High five. Let's make it happen.

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